Byrned.

by MONTROSE MAN

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1.
03:33
He sneezed I said God Bless you and he didn't even say thank you He must not Have God-fearing snot It's not that I'm religious or anything But at least I have the common courtesy That he was not Taught by his mom And he told me people would respect me more if I was a bitch And if I painted my nails, and wore perfume and dyed my hair That I'd be a total catch She's mean And I thought we were friends No Thank You card for my Thank You card And you didn't even like that photo I posted on the internet of my cat I'm so crazy Not worth dealing And he told me people would respect me more if I was a bitch And if I painted my nails, and wore perfume and dyed my hair That I'd be a total fucking catch Hot lettuce so hard to swallow Hot lettuce so hard to swallow I'll chew and I'll choke and I'll eat it again My boss, he was such a nice guy He fired me, I'm too lazy Too lazy to book the therapy that is necessary for a person like me I'm so crazy, Not worth dealing When you stare at the screen you just want to scream And when you actually scream, you shatter the screen You're too unfit to work here, You're too unfit to work here
2.
03:20
Why can't I be still Still dizzy from the carousel Blur the room until it's comfortable Ride the horse until it turns Why do I feel so insecure? I need, I need I need you to tell me that I'm fine Like all the time It feels so heavy It feels so heavy You can relax and watch a movie I can't sit down I need to keep on moving My 255 frame per second picture show If I don't slow down the kelpie will return It feels so heavy It feels so heavy
3.
You haven't had a hit in ages Life's hurling junk, you're in the hole Just gotta be a little patient And look for something in your zone Don't quit, dig in And level our your swing Just making contact is the goal Don't let, that pitch Ever see the catcher's mitt Just get that ball in play and go Everyone goes through times their slumping Just part of being in the show Don't let yourself get too frustrated You'll be on base before you know Dig in, don't quit It's ok, choke up a bit You don't know what they're gonna throw Don't let that pitch Ever see the catcher's mitt Just get that ball in play and go.
4.
David Hasselhoff, David Letterman, David Bowie David Spade, David Blane, David Duchovny Larry, David Schimmer, Crosby, Cross, Sedaris Beckham, Lynch, Lee Roth, Boreanaz We've all met a lot of Davids and they usually go by Dave But are they famous? Well who am I to judge? So what's your name? And is it David? And are you famous? And are you famous? Because it's a long way back to Dave. Daves are usually pretty creepy But Davids are pretty cool D-A-V-I-D, D-A-V-I-D, D-A-V-I-D, D-A-V-I-D, YOW! So what's your name? And is it David? And are you famous? And are you famous? Because it's a long way back to Dave. Because it's a long way back to Dave.
5.
That battery on the key ring used to drive me nuts And the way I breathed in the pillow used to scare you Because I smoked too much With Amityville eyes You silently despised Everything about me and The way I lived my life And I’m sick of feeling so ashamed For not enjoying board games New haircut, new haircut I hear you're getting a director's haircut now Guilty by asphyxiation I held my breath for you And that morning you called me, I wasn’t expecting You to say we’re through I have to walk away I heard him say Then my knees went numb and I could not explain That I think you’re making a mistake But god I really hate board games… New haircut, new haircut I hear you're getting a director's haircut now
6.
I found my place Passenger's aboard I've got this book I didn't read Inside my purse Vacation was surreal and well deserved Now we're on a flight back home to - Chicago And now I'm so depressed I know I'm going home That's not really my home, just pay the man the rent and call it home This is all just temporary, this is all just temporary Will I ever have a home? To call my own? Sometimes on a plane, don't you wish that we'd all die? Sometimes on a plane, don't you wish that we'd all die? And then we'd all be okay and we can fly like in those dreams we had where the elephants graze by the ocean and we can ride them through the clouds unscathed... But then you snap right back, would you like a Gingerale says the flight attendant as we smoothly sail, and the plane is landing, this pilot is good, weather permitting, back to the old neighborhood. Thanks for flyin', Thanks for tryin' to die Sometimes on plane, sometimes on a plane. Sometimes on plane, sometimes on a plane.

credits

released May 14, 2020

Recorded, Mixed and Mastered by Joe Gac @ Kildare Studios
December 2019
Mat Haywood: Drums
Eric Kratz: Bass/Vocals
Meg MacDuff: Guitar/Vocals

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MONTROSE MAN Chicago, Illinois

Kratzwood Mac
Kratz - Haywood - MacDuff

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