1. |
Hot Lettuce
03:33
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He sneezed
I said God Bless you and he didn't even say thank you
He must not
Have God-fearing snot
It's not that I'm religious or anything
But at least I have the common courtesy
That he was not
Taught by his mom
And he told me people would respect me more if I was a bitch
And if I painted my nails, and wore perfume and dyed my hair
That I'd be a total catch
She's mean
And I thought we were friends
No Thank You card for my Thank You card
And you didn't even like that photo I posted on the internet of my cat
I'm so crazy
Not worth dealing
And he told me people would respect me more if I was a bitch
And if I painted my nails, and wore perfume and dyed my hair
That I'd be a total fucking catch
Hot lettuce so hard to swallow
Hot lettuce so hard to swallow
I'll chew and I'll choke and I'll eat it again
My boss, he was such a nice guy
He fired me, I'm too lazy
Too lazy to book the therapy that is necessary for a person like me
I'm so crazy, Not worth dealing
When you stare at the screen you just want to scream
And when you actually scream, you shatter the screen
You're too unfit to work here, You're too unfit to work here
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2. |
The Kelpie
03:20
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Why can't I be still
Still dizzy from the carousel
Blur the room until it's comfortable
Ride the horse until it turns
Why do I feel so insecure?
I need, I need
I need you to tell me that I'm fine
Like all the time
It feels so heavy
It feels so heavy
You can relax and watch a movie
I can't sit down I need to keep on moving
My 255 frame per second picture show
If I don't slow down the kelpie will return
It feels so heavy
It feels so heavy
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3. |
Catcher's Mitt
03:42
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You haven't had a hit in ages
Life's hurling junk, you're in the hole
Just gotta be a little patient
And look for something in your zone
Don't quit, dig in
And level our your swing
Just making contact is the goal
Don't let, that pitch
Ever see the catcher's mitt
Just get that ball in play and go
Everyone goes through times their slumping
Just part of being in the show
Don't let yourself get too frustrated
You'll be on base before you know
Dig in, don't quit
It's ok, choke up a bit
You don't know what they're gonna throw
Don't let that pitch
Ever see the catcher's mitt
Just get that ball in play and go.
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4. |
Famous Davids
03:39
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David Hasselhoff, David Letterman, David Bowie
David Spade, David Blane, David Duchovny
Larry, David
Schimmer, Crosby, Cross, Sedaris
Beckham, Lynch, Lee Roth, Boreanaz
We've all met a lot of Davids and they usually go by Dave
But are they famous?
Well who am I to judge?
So what's your name?
And is it David? And are you famous?
And are you famous?
Because it's a long way back to Dave.
Daves are usually pretty creepy
But Davids are pretty cool
D-A-V-I-D, D-A-V-I-D, D-A-V-I-D, D-A-V-I-D,
YOW!
So what's your name?
And is it David? And are you famous?
And are you famous?
Because it's a long way back to Dave.
Because it's a long way back to Dave.
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5. |
Director's Haircut
03:05
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That battery on the key ring used to drive me nuts
And the way I breathed in the pillow used to scare you
Because I smoked too much
With Amityville eyes
You silently despised
Everything about me and
The way I lived my life
And I’m sick of feeling so ashamed
For not enjoying board games
New haircut, new haircut
I hear you're getting a director's haircut now
Guilty by asphyxiation
I held my breath for you
And that morning you called me, I wasn’t expecting
You to say we’re through
I have to walk away
I heard him say
Then my knees went numb and I could not explain
That I think you’re making a mistake
But god I really hate board games…
New haircut, new haircut
I hear you're getting a director's haircut now
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6. |
Sometimes on a Plane
03:38
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I found my place
Passenger's aboard
I've got this book I didn't read
Inside my purse
Vacation was surreal and well deserved
Now we're on a flight back home to - Chicago
And now I'm so depressed I know I'm going home
That's not really my home, just pay the man the rent and call it home
This is all just temporary, this is all just temporary
Will I ever have a home? To call my own?
Sometimes on a plane, don't you wish that we'd all die?
Sometimes on a plane, don't you wish that we'd all die?
And then we'd all be okay and we can fly like in those dreams we had where the elephants graze by the ocean and we can ride them through the clouds unscathed...
But then you snap right back, would you like a Gingerale says the flight attendant as we smoothly sail, and the plane is landing, this pilot is good, weather permitting, back to the old neighborhood.
Thanks for flyin', Thanks for tryin' to die
Sometimes on plane, sometimes on a plane.
Sometimes on plane, sometimes on a plane.
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MONTROSE MAN Chicago, Illinois
Kratzwood Mac
Kratz - Haywood - MacDuff
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